Chair Cobble
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Will you please read this very small para and tell me if it reads ok?
I don't know I'm just not sure about it? Thanks, Shaz x
They walked down the cobbled street of the Royal Mile until they found the cafe. Luca opened the glass door and lead Catherine in. Her eyes searched the room for the table she was eager to find empty and smiled when she discovered it unoccupied. The familiar red table cloth draped off the sides and the little faux white rose was still positioned in the middle. Luca pulled out the black metal chair and it screeched along the laminate flooring causing him to cringe.
“Sorry, honey,” he said, gesturing for her to sit down.
Catherine smiled and tucked her hands under her skirt before taking a seat. Luca walked round to the other side of the little round table and took his seat as he handed his wife the menu.
No there is more to it, it is just a small section I thought didn't read too good or flow well x
This is a part of my chapter 3, The first chapter is the wedding so the reader already knows it's his wife x
Good. Nothing interesting is really happening, but I get that you're establishing a scene.
If you're going to be doing this much describing of atmosphere, I'd suggest describing smells and feelings, not just visuals. I can "see" what's going on, but I feel like someone who's just in the restaurant, watching them come in. If you're going to be telling a story about them, make me feel like I'm in their heads. "Luca opened the glass door, pretending to be the gentleman Catherine knew he wasn't" tells me a lot more about what's going on in Catherine's head, and tells me about their relationship.
Another suggestion I would make is that maybe you should try shaking up your sentence structure a little. You begin nearly every sentence with the basic "noun, verb, adjective, noun" - or some form of that structure
"They" "walked" "cobbled" "road"
"Luca" "opened" "glass" "door"
"eyes" "searched" "room"
"Luca" "pulled" "metal" "chair"
"Luca" "walked" "little, round" "table"
That kind of repeating structure makes the whole thing feel a bit boring, rhythmic. Try consciously starting your sentences with a different word, other than a noun, just to shake things up.
"Walking down the cobbled Royal Mile, they finally found the cafe."
"Eagerly, Catherine's eyes searched for the table, hoping it would be empty. When she discovered it unoccupied, she smiled."
"Familiar and red, the tablecloth draped off the sides with the faux white rose still positioned in the middle."
"Tucking her hands behind her skirt, Catherine smiled and took a seat."
Definitely not bad. Would need a bit of work to be interesting, though.
Best of luck, and happy writing!
Cobble Mountain Hanging Chair